Knock on Wood Signs



All the sayings & quotes

Updated May 2016

A Fireman Lives Here With His Old Flame

A Friend is Someone Who Reaches for Your Hand and Touches Your Heart

A Great Fisherman Lives Here With The Catch of His Life

A House is Not A Home Without Paws

A Man’s Home Is His Castle Until His Queen Arrives

All Because Two People Fell In Love

All My Kids Have Paws

Always Kiss Me Goodnight

And They Lived Happily Ever After

Angel On Guard

Baby Sleeping

Beach Bums

Beach Getaway

Danger Men Doing Laundry

Dear Santa, I Want it All

DEPRESSO: That Feeling You Get When You Run Out Of Coffee

Did the Wizard Ever Get Back to You on That Brain?

Do Not Disturb

Dogs Laugh With Their Tails

Dogs Welcome, People Tolerated

Don't Believe Everything You Think

Don't Look Birds Bathing

Enjoy the Little Things in Life: For One Day You'll Look Back And Realize They Were The Big Things


Follow Your Arrow Wherever It Points

Forever, For Always and No Matter What

Friends and Wine Get Better With Age

Friends Welcome, Relatives By Appointment

Garden of Weeden

Gardeners Know The Best Dirt

Gardeners Know The Best Dirt Garden Stake

Go Away

Gone Biking

Gone Birdwatching

Gone Boating

Gone Dancing

Gone Fishing

Gone Golfing

Gone Riding

Gone Running

Gone Sailing

Gone Shopping

Gone Skiing

Gone to Tennis

Gone to the Beach

Gone to The Casino

Gone to the Gym

Gone To Therapy

Gone To Yoga

Gone Walking

Good Food, Good Friends, Good Times

Good, Better , Best; Never Let it Rest Until Your Good is Better and Your Better is Best

Got Wine?

Grandfathers are Just Antique Little Boys

Grandma's House Children Spoiled While You Wait

Grandmothers are Just Antique Little Girls

Grow Dammit!

Guests Bring Us Happiness, Some by Coming, Some By Going

Happiness is Being Married to Your Best Friend

Happiness is Contagious, Be A Carrier

Happy Wife, Happy Life

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

He Cleans Fish, Why Not the House?

Home Sweet Apartment

Home Sweet Boat

Home Sweet Cottage

Home Sweet Dorm


I Took a Pain Pill, Why Are You still Here?

I Can Only Please One Person Per Day. Today Is Not Your Day, Tomorrow Doesn't Look Good Either

I Hate Four Letter Words...Wash, Cook, Dust & Iron

I Have Mixed Drinks About Feelings

I Have Reached the Age Where happy Hour is a Nap

I Know I Came Into This Room For A Reason

I Like to Cook With Wine, Sometimes I Add it to The Food

I Love You to the Moon and Back

I Never Repeat Gossip so Listen Carefully

I Should Have Bought It, When I Saw It!

I Smile Because I Don't Have the Slightest Idea What's Going On

I Started With Nothing, I Still Have Most of It

I'd Like to Help You Out, Which Way Did You Come In?

I'm Already Visualizing The Duct Tape Over Your Mouth

I'm in the Garden

I'm Just A Raggedy Ann In A Barbie Doll World

If it Weren't for Last Minute, Nothing Would Get Done

If the Broom Fits, Ride It

If We Can Send a Man to the Moon, Why Not All of Them?

If You Are Grouchy, Irritable, or Just Plain Mean There Will Be A $10 Charge for Putting up With You.

If You Are Waiting For A Sign This IS IT

If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle Please Be Neat and Wipe The Seat

If You Stumble, Make It Part Of The Dance

If You're Lucky Enough to Live By the Sea, You're Lucky Enough

In Dog Beers I've Only Had One

It Is What It Is

It's a Wonderful Life

It's All Good

It's Easy To Live A Complicated Life

It's Good to Be Queen

It's Not a Coincidence Man's Best Friend Doesn't Talk

It's Not Easy Being the Queen

It's Only Funny If It Happens To My Sister

It's Wine O’ Clock

Just Another Day In Paradise

Kitchen Closed

Laugh at Your Problems, Everyone Else Does

Let the Waves Hit Your Feet And The Sand Be You Seat

Life Doesn’t Have to be Perfect To be Wonderful

Life Hasn't Been the Same Since That House Dropped On My Sister

Life Is Better In Flip Flops

Life Isn’t Measured By The Number of Breaths we Take, But By The Moments That Take Our Breath Away

Life's a Game, Golf is serious

Life's Too Short to Drink Cheap Wine

Live Each Day as if It Were Your Last

Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much


Love You More

Love, Laughter and Friends Always Welcome

M is for Mother Not For Maid

Making a Friend Takes a Moment, Being a Friend Takes a Lifetime

Man Cave

Meditation It's Not What You Think

Merry Christmas

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall, I am My Mother After All

My Cat Lets Me Live Here

My House Was Clean Last Week, Sorry You Missed It!

My Mind Wandered and Never Came Back

My Name is "NO, NO, Bad Dog!", What's Yours?

Never Get So Busy Making A Living That You Forget To Make A Life

Never Let The Things You Want, Make You Forget The Things You Have

Never Stand Between Me and My Coffee

Next Mood swing In Five Minutes

No Husband Was Ever Shot While Doing the Dishes

No Matter What the Question Is, Chocolate is The Answer

Nobody gets in To See the Wizard, Not Nobody, Not No How!

Now That Food Has Replaced Sex in My Life, I Can't Even Get Into My Own Pants

Nude Beach Follow the Curves

Of All The Smells I Ever Smelt, I Never Smelt A Smell That Smelt, Like That Smell I Smelt Smelled.

On Beach Time

On Lake Time

Out of My Mind, Back In 5 Minutes

Pa is Boss, As Everyone Knows, But What Ma Says Goes


Please Close the Gate

Please Don't Let the Cat Out

Please Don't Let the Dog Out

Please Leave the Sand At the Beach

Procrastination Isn’t The Problem, It’s The Solution, So Procrastinate Now, Don’t Put it Off

Put on Your Big Girl Pants and Deal With It!

Santa I Can Explain

Save the Earth, It's the Only Planet With Beer

Save the Earth, It's the Only Planet With Wine

Saw It, Wanted It, Told Grandma and Got It

Secret Garden

Shop Like You Never Have To Pay the Bills

Sing Like No One is Listening

Smile if You're Not Wearing Underwear

Smile, It Confuses People

Snowflakes Are Angel Kisses

So It’s Not Home Sweet Home, Adjust!

Some Day We Gotta Get Organized

Sometimes the smallest things, take up the most room in your heart


Sorry You Weren't Here Last Week, My Garden Was at Its Peak

Still Crazy After All These Beers

Take Your Shoes Off, Please

The Beatings Will Continue Until Moral Improves

The Best Antiques Are Old Friends

The Best Thing to Spend on Children is Time

The Great Oz has spoken

The Witch is In

There's No Place Like Home

This is a Self Cleaning Kitchen, Please Clean Up After yourself

Thou Shalt Not Whine

To the World, You May Be One Person, But To One Person You May Be The World

Trust Your Crazy Ideas

Two Dinner Choices: Take It or Leave It

Waiting For Santa

We Are Going to Live Happily Ever After, Even If It Kills Us!

We Believe in Santa

We Don't Skinny Dip, We Chunky Dunk

We May Not Have It All Together, But Together We Have It All

We Will Drink No Wine Before Its Time: It's Time

We're Poolside

We've Been Through a Lot Together, And Most Of It Was Your Fault

Weeds for Sale Pick Your Own


Welcome Aboard

Welcome to my Garden

Welcome To My Garden Stake

Welcome to Our Porch

Welcome to the Beach

Well Water

What if the Hokey Pokey is Really What it's All About?

What Part of Meow Don't You Understand?

What Part of No Don't You Understand?

What Part of Woof Don't You Understand?

What's a Little Cat Hair Among Friends

What's a Little Dog Hair Among Friends


When Did My Wild Oats Turn Into shredded Wheat?

Who Are These Kids and Why Are They Calling me Mom?

Who Fired The Maid?

Wine Flies When You Are Having Fun

Wipe Your Paws

Yesterday Was the Last Day for Complaints

Yield to the Princess


You Can't Make Footprints In The Sands Of Time If You're Sitting On Your Butt. And Who Wants To Make Buttprints In The Sand Of Time?

You Make My Heart Smile

You Never Know How Many Friends You Have Until You Have a Cottage

You Never Know How Many Friends You Have Until You Have A Pool

Your Husband Called, He Said You Can Buy Anything You Want